Adversity - Life Event - Midlife Crisis?
One year and six months ago…
I remember thinking to myself, in January 2023, I was at my lowest. I remember thinking that I hit rock bottom.
After my father and brother passed away, I became more anxious and depressed. I looked at my life and realized that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I realized that I settled and sacrificed some important aspects of my life and I wasn’t my true self anymore. I didn’t know what I could do to better myself or even how I was going to get there. I have to figure out my life again.
Setting Goals.
Family
My resilience and self-improvement journey began with my wonderful family’s support.
My family was there for me when I needed them at the most critical stage of my life. I remember we had a family meeting to talk about my struggles and I was able to release my concerns, verbalize a few revelations, and reason out some things.
My family knew that I needed them and they were supportive, for which I am grateful.
Some great lessons that came from my family meeting were:
Maintaining a teamwork environment and a support system are key.
Be patient and understanding
Communication - ensure all are on the same page - the ability to talk about anything.
My family helped me identify new goals for myself:
Prioritize and manage my responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, and chores.
Being a consistent awesome, loving provider for my family.
As a Professional
I remember telling myself at age 51, I still have life in me to give! I had life in me to support others and I wanted to share my talent in what I loved to do - help people to make positive change in their life.
After working with over a thousand people in my career as a Team Leader, where I mentored and coached people to achieve their goals, it has been consistent throughout my life, which brought me great satisfaction. As a life coach, I’m excited that I have the talent and dedication to do the same and help to bring clarity and support to my clients. So staying on course to develop my coaching business was a new goal and a priority for me during this time.
As a Mother and Wife
As a result, I changed some of my domestic routines in the household to free up my time for my business, such as the management of groceries and shopping, the management of the dishes, management of meals - all were premeditated and done based on how it fit logically in my life with no stress and no pressure. As a result, I can naturally fit these important pieces nicely into my life, forming a habitual act because what I had set was realistic for me.
My Revelation - Always Do My Best
Discovering revelations about yourself is like finding the best piece of information you can find to enhance your existence in this world! The revelation that pulled me through this tough time was to put into practice my agreement that I must do my best every day. I can’t say it enough; this is one of the many things that changed the direction of my life. I figured that if I had to do the best that I could, it would force me to get out of my comfort zone and make the necessary changes in my life to make it happen! I was ready for this.
Embracer, have you discovered any revelations about yourself lately that have helped you propel forward?
Doing My Best Gives Me:
Less stress, anxiety, and depression
Positive results leave me in a better state of existence than I was before.
A personal gift that no one else could give me.
Makes me very happy at the end of the day.
The Four Inner Strengths
Simultaneously, as I was discovering my new goals, I realized that I was also calling on my own inner strengths to help me bounce back. Here are four inner strengths that I hold highly and practiec to this day. When going through adversity, practice these four inner strengths to help you bounce back.
Acceptance
First, I had to accept my life at that present moment and be thankful to God for my health, knowledge, and understanding. I had to figure out that to move forward, I had to come to terms with my past life, and decisions and figure out a plan. I came up with a list of practical beliefs to begin my journey:
Accept that I settled and sacrificed some things along the way.
Accept that I needed to make positive changes.
Accept to adopt a new mindset that hard work pays off.
Accept that I must work even harder than before.
Accept that as I grow, I will sometimes feel uncomfortable.
I created Acceptance Self-made Affirmations around these beliefs, kept them in my Reminders, and said them every chance I got.
Self-Care
After understanding and coming to terms with my current situation, which by the way, made me already feel better, I realized that I needed to nurture myself. I first needed to nurture my mind, my body, and my soul to carry out the goals I had set for myself. Taking care of myself, at this point, was so important to me and I was excited. I’d like to share with you some things I identified and did to take care of me:
Thinking positively by consistently being mindful of my thoughts and feelings
Waking up early
Morning prayer
Stretching in the morning, as soon as I arise
Migraine management, when needed
Improve personal hygiene such as skincare routine, hair care routine
Practiced a healthier diet by drinking lots of water and cooking healthier
Doing the things that I love to do such as tik-tok dance challenges, singing
I created Self-care Self-made Affirmations around these self-care practices, kept them in my Reminders, and said them practically every day
Courage
Courage was my top New Year’s resolution. I knew that to make changes, I had to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Fear of making mistakes and looking foolish were ideas that I had to squash and put aside to get to where I wanted to be. To do this, I came up with these courageous beliefs that I want to share with you:
Gain the courage to be open to hard work
Make changes, make mistakes, and grow along the way
Envision a life that I want, envision a career that I want, and put it into reality
Act on the belief that self-improvement has no age limits
Starting a coaching business at 51 years old with a full-time job, family, and major responsibilities while fulfilling the role of mother, daughter, sister, wife, and friend.
Feel confident about being uncomfortable
I created Self-made Courage Affirmations around these courageous beliefs, kept them in my Reminders, and said them practically every day
Faith
I most naturally turned to my faith to embrace and support my other inner strengths. Faith, which is ever strong, most powerful, and unseen has kept me sane, sound, and snuggled in a world of possibilities and positive thinking. I thank God for the opportunity to shine my light every day and for the opportunity to improve and fulfill my purpose. I practiced my faith by:
Believing that God has a plan for you
Having faith in myself to do the right thing at the right time
Staying positive about the future
I created Self-made Faith affirmations from these beliefs, kept them in my Reminders, and said them practically every day
Together, these four inner strengths make Resilience. Together, these four inner strengths are what kept me mentally grounded and moving forward. They gave me the strength to dig myself out of the mental hardship that I was facing. My family and close friends were the support systems that guided me throughout and their reassurance and unconditional love were most appreciated.
Here are some of my key takeaways after living through a transformation of resilience since January 2023. I hope you can identify with them and be able to relate them to your journey of growth and development.
My Key Take-Aways After Living Through a Transformation of Resilience
When I was young, my mother always said to me, that hard work pays off. She bought me a white mug with a cartoon picture of a man making a huge sand castle on the beach and on the other side of the mug is an oncoming wave. Inside the rim of the mug, says, hard work pays off. I hold this mug dear to me because although it is a funny mug, the lesson is invaluable. My mother instilled in me the importance of this character trait. Not only that, my mother always told me that hard work never kills anyone! Among these key life lessons from my mother, I’d like to share with you a few more takeaways after embracing my resilience for one year and six months:
Identify what you want for yourself
Prioritize responsibilities to make your life logical, practical, and easy
Embrace acceptance, self-care, courage and faith
Have a support system
Take action. Hard work will = positive results
In short, always do your best and never settle for less. Embrace self-improvement and set goals for yourself. Do your best every day for a more fulfilling and happy life. I sincerely hope this was enlightening, insightful, and helpful for you and I hope you will use some of the strategies I used to begin my transformation.